Diary Pages By Pandora ❤

My Days :)

“This too shall pass”.

In life, you are taught rules; rules that keep you functional and going.
but as life goes on, you realize that this is not always possible. not always you can follow them!
There are going to be good days and bad days. some “type” of days would last for a week while some can last up to months and extend up to years.
Some days when you open your eyes in the morning, you don’t feel like getting out of bed. You just lie there, staring at the white washed ceiling and you think about how to go about the rest of the day when your heart is so heavy.
You feel empty, maybe because you’ve lost some one or you’ve lost your self or just because you don’t feel very excited. which is natural.
On other days, you would meet someone that reminds you of songs and butterflies and time would fly so quickly that you would never want that day to end. Holding hands and that sudden eye contact would make you feel like the luckiest person in the world or you know, making new friends or adopting a dog would make you feel like a whole another level of happy.
Then, you have your average days- when it’s your first day of college or school, your first day at work, coming back home and a shared laugh or two squeezed in between.
When you come to think of it, you really don’t know what’s next, how your next minute would look like. If you are going to fall in love or make new friends or instead get hit by a bus. Life is terrifying, you just can’t predict it.
But on this huge stage of the unknown, the show goes on, because no matter what happens, nothing is final!
So, just let it go. Let yourself feel everything- the happy things and the sad things, the success and the failure, the laughs and the tears, the fall and the kisses-everything ’cause amidst these things, you’ll find yourself and one day for sure, you’ll look back at your moments and you’ll whisper to your self:
“Thank you for going on. Thank you for never giving up on yourself or on anyone else.”
As they say, “This too shall pass.”

suspense..

Thoughts- On and On and On.

I am in an infinite loop.

I did not walk into it but I fell into it.

I am still falling.

The fear has crippled into my veins and the very end membrane of my brain.

Just no more colorful days but series of grey events every second in front of my eyes.

I close my eyes just so that I don’t look at them,

but the black when I shut my eyes, makes me more nauseous.

I open my eyes and I still am paralyzed by fear and a broken rib,

to then I see Where is the ground that I’ll hit?

I am pretty sure that I have gone mad,

talking to my racing heartbeat while I go nowhere and be seated on the same chair for months.

I have anxiety and a broken leg with which I still am trying my best,

to not run but stay.

but, I never seem to get it right,

everyday I run and jump from a height.

I am stuck in this loop where I see no one,

afraid of I might lose myself or have I lost myself?

2020 or 0000?

This year what have you struggled the most with?

Was it with your own self or with people around you?

Is it because your self esteem is low or is it because of your ego?

Do you still question and seek the answers or have you stopped and are overthinking?

Has the number increased in your “The people I heart” list or you don’t seem to have a list now?

Is your confidence still up and about or are there flashes of anxiety and panic attacks?

Are you still not worried about what they say about you or are you looking for validation in every action?

Do you relate or all of this is just too overwhelming?

Are you okay or are you just surviving?

Is it still you or just you left?

Quote 01

I can’t really stand human beings sometimes- I know they all have their problems as I have mine- but I’m really too tired for it. Trying to understand, making allowances, seeing somethings that just weary me! Shutting myself down for I don’t see good in anything. I get tired of people talking and talking and find it so useless and i know that i have no right to judge them- but I do it anyway. Seeing no point in conversations and feeling irritated by every person that comes my way. The more I try to get out of it the more I suffer and suffocate in. Sometimes I just want to shout at them and scare them away so that I’m left alone in my torment. I feel nearly dead with fatigue with all the crazy thoughts in my mind. Left alone i think of ending all of it at once but these thoughts just come and go. I have almost everything but It still feels so blank in my head.

Quoting the depressed and the Lonely.

Don’t judge people just cause they seem happy. Things are not always as they appear to be.xx

Qayamat.

Khuda se puchta hu rooz ki-
“Kyun laata ha tu Qayamat? Kyun krta ha
pareshan meri rooh ko? Roota hu toh kya
sukun milta ha tujhe?”
Soch soch ke dil ko rulata hu.
Fizul ha yeh sochna manta hu, par dil ko
koi samhja paaya ha?
Samhjta toh dimag bhi nahi, Bas kosta hu
Khuda ko ki Kyun le rha imtihan vo?
Agr vo Chahe toh sukun ho aur Chahe toh
aaye zalzale. Chahe toh roone ki vajah de
toh Chahe muskurane ka bahana.
Vaise toh sirf jalta hu mei iss aag mei jo
Khuda ne laagai ha.
Par phir bhi puchta hu rooz ki shyd aj to
Jawab dega vo. Shyd aj toh Qayamat khatam karega
vo.

It’s Time.

India Kashmir

Were her children worth the bullets? Is she worthy of the separation? Can a 4 or 5 year Old child be part of any trickery done by any Terrorist Organisation?                                                                           So why were they killed?

This is just one mother we see in the picture crying over her children who were brutally injured during the Clashes between the armed forces and the Aam Aadmi. The people of Kashmir being Misguided and fooled by their Pseudo Literals and are now on the Streets fighting. 

Burhan Wani- the Commander of Hizbul Mujahideen, was successfully killed by the defense forces of our country but was also successful in misleading hundreds of locals and is now termed as a “Freedom Fighter” by some Pseudo intellectuals. I guess calling such an inhuman being a Freedom Fighter would be a disgrace to all those brave men and women who were killed in the Jallianwala Bagh Massacre, would bring a disgrace to Shahid Bhagat Singh  and all the Martyrs -some named and some unnamed. Those Blindly trusting the misguided literals don’t see all the innocent blood being shed in the valley.? Why is that the Indian army has to fire pellets over the locals? Why were women and men both beaten brutally -killed without any fear? and when this was not enough, the locals went down the streets to throw petrol bombs over the armed police men! Is the Indian defense blind and are the people senseless?

Leave all of it but this is where Indian government should have played their role. Are all political parties deaf? Don’t they hear people crying for help? Don’t they see kashmiris running for their life? Hiding in camps and being attacked at night? Where are all the promises made before the elections? 

Kashmir is an integral part of INDIA. So why is it that before elections every political leader uses it as a weapon to gain votes and then turning a deaf ear to it after the elections? Why are the Kashmiris still in fear of losing everything? Why are WE running?

Several were killed. Many are injured. 

Several missions made for Peace but none was a Success.

We can’t Just blame the Indian army but also cause of some misguided locals involved and the quiet Government, the conditions are getting worse. 

We need to Unite, not fight against each other.

People like Burhan wani make India weak and are trying their hard to take our Jannat away from us.

We need to Restore Peace. 

Peace.

I Learned. I learned a lot. A lot much from what i did. What I saw people doing; not only to me but for others. Sometimes it all turned out like totally bad and sometimes turned into good.I learned that everybody in this world is ‘Something’ and that something has come from whatever they’ve gone through. I learned that life can totally be like your Favorite song which you’d love dancing to and sometimes like your boring lecture in which you Doze Off. It’s totally unpredictable; nothing is or will be for sure. I learned that YES! you’ll get hurt, You get Trippe, Fall off every now and then but yes, you do get up! No matter how hard people try to take you down; you can Fight back and stand Strong. Another most important thing that i Learned in life was to “Let Go” of things. Not getting to close to something/one is the right choice-Maybe. I no longer encourage useless talks, Unfaithful People and disloyal Peers in my life. i don’t care if my Conditions leave me alone in my Life; atleast i’ll be happy cause i won’t have my Expectations Broken into Pieces.That would be fair enough for me.At this point in my life, from all the things i’ve done and regretted and learned, i really find myself no longer dependent on anything/one. All of the things i’m doing are for ME;not for anybody else and that makes me Happy. I love myself and I don’t need anybody else to do it for me. So,Whatever i’ve Learned-be it from Good or Bad, is that life is not harsh on you. It’s just that how you Frame it and Bring it up. It is beautiful. Just Relax and have Peace. That’s all one should do.

Back :)

Back from Hostel to my Home.Back To my People. Back To my Family. Yeah, For just a Short Span of Time-But I am Back. Back on my Scooby Doo and Tom And Jerry Episodes On T.V. Yeah, For just a Short Span of Time-But I am Back. Back in That Room that I had Decorated Myself when I was Just 10 years old And Back To my Dairy Shelf.Yeah, For just a Short Span of Time-But I am Back. Back where I feel Love, Happiness.

Back Where I Feel safe ❤

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